Summer is an idyllic time of lazy
days relaxing in the sun, all set to a seemingly endless soundtrack of catchy
new pop songs. These tunes seem custom-made to capture the electric sense of
fun and possibility in the air, but for every hot summer jam that climbs the
charts each year, there are dozens at the bottom that just never made the cut.
Here are some songs that’re guaranteed to not be blasting from any beach
parties, dance clubs or passing convertibles this summer.
-“I'm An Abusive Egotistical
Man-Child With Rage Issues & You’re My Co-Dependent Duet Partner Who
Suffers From Low Self Esteem And Possibly Even Stockholm Syndrome”-Chris Brown
& Rihanna
-“Let’s See Some Rib Cages Up
In Here!”-Princess Poor Body Image
-->“Some Absolutely Horrible
Piece Of Crossover Country Garbage That We’re Phoning In Yet Again”-Rascal
Flatts
-
-“Restore My Foreskin”-The
Kirk T. Winthrop 5
-“Dreaming Realistic Dreams
& Not Living Beyond My Means”-MC Fixed Income
-“This Week With George
Stephanopoulos Opening Theme”-Remix (Feat. George Will)
-“Weekend Dad (Joint Ku$tody)”-The
Baby Momma Drama Society
-“I’m Seasick & Allergic
To Champagne (AKA I Hate This Yacht Party!)”- DJ Buzzkilla
-“(It Ain’t A Party Til) My
Mamma’s In The Hot Tub”- Cardio Funk Attack
-“There’s Cat Hair On Like,
Literally Everything”- A Halo Of Bananas
-“Huffin’ Gas and Kickin’
Ass”- The Meth Labradoodles
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